Loving Someone Who Lost

 

"If tears could have saved you, I would have cried an ocean"

May this serve as a guideline or tips to those loving someone who lost. Weather it be a parent, spouse, someone special. The person you love is affected by their loss more than you know. 

You'll find yourself noticing random bouts of sadness. They may become a regular occurrence. You'll be sitting at home cuddled up with the person you love and in a flash you'll see their bright eyed smile fade into a somber, glassy eyed frown. I'm going to take a bet that they were just invaded by a memory. Those cruel yet heartwarming memories. They might not want to talk, but if they do, please listen with open ears and an open heart. In those moments hold them a little bit tighter, it's exactly what they need. 

Every holiday is a little bit harder for the person you're loving, because for them someone is missing. No matter how happy they are in the back of their head they know someone is missing. You might catch your person staring off into the distance, probably imagining if the one they lost was here. The Empty Chair Syndrome, it's more real than you think.

Always be aware of the calendar. Your person may have certain times of the year that are just a little bit harder for them. I can almost guarantee you that the calendar of their life was marked with at least two days that they will never cease to forget. These days may not be marked on paper, but they are marked in their heart. Now their loved ones birthday, diagnosis day, or death day, stand as a new holiday they never wanted to celebrate. 

Every big decision or monumental moment is bittersweet for the person you love. They are so happy with how far they have come, yet still saddened that the one they lost is missing their journey on earth with them. When making such big decisions they think of what they're loved on would think. I bet your persons goal is to make the one the lost proud of them, and who they are becoming. 

Having lost someone so important in their lives, the person you love, loves a deeper because they know how short time can be. Don't take their love as overbearing because I promise you they don't mean it that way, they just know that tomorrow is not promised for anyone. Every day is different, and some days will be harder than others, but don't give up on them. They'll show you a love that you'll never forget. 

-Someone who's lost.